Why Children Falsely Accuse Parents of Sexual Abuse?
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Why Would a Child Falsely Accuse their Parent of Sexual Abuse?


Although hard to believe, children will and do falsely accuse their parents of sexual abuse. The very idea that a child would deliberately report that their parent or stepparent sexually abused them when it never happened goes against a commonly held belief that children don't lie - especially about something as serious as sexual abuse. The most obvious question of course is - WHY?

There aren't many explanations that make sense in explaining why a child would accuse their parent or stepparent of sexual abuse when it never happened. But an explanation that does fit - and also accounts for the majority of false allegations of sexual abuse made against a parent - is when a child has been coached or pressured to make disclosures of sexual misconduct. In these cases, the coaching is usually - although not always - done by the other parent during the course of a custody dispute. In theses cases, the primary motivation for the "accusing" parent is their desire to limit or eliminate the children's contact with their other parent.

Given the current widespread acceptance of joint custody as the most optimal form of post divorce parenting, court rulings for sole custody are now becoming fewer and fewer. Short of a parent having a history of a serious psychotic illness or being a dangerous offender, an allegation of sexual abuse is likely the best way to guarantee an award of sole custody for the "accusing" parent. What better way to destroy a relationship between parent and child and also to ensure sole custody for the accusing parent - all at the same time with one allegation of sexual abuse!

Proving that the Allegations are False is NOT Enough

It is critical that the allegations of sexual abuse be dealt with as promptly as possible. That means that any child protection and legal concerns be addressed and set aside. Although there is a tremendous sense of relief and vindication once the allegations of sexual abuse are determined to be false, it is important to understand that this does not necessarily mean that custody and access will be automatically be re-established. The two main reasons are:

  • The process of dealing with false allegations of sexual abuse is generally lengthy. Because process of investigating allegations of sexual abuse are usually handled by Child Protective Services, the police and/or the courts, the accused parent often has little if any, control over the process. Due the nature of the investigation as well as the length of time it takes to complete, children are often estranged from their parent.


  • Although a negative finding of sexual abuse removes any child protection and criminal concerns, the "accusing" parent will still contest custody and access through family courts stating that the "accused" parent either remains a risk to the children or that the children do not feel "safe" with that parent.

Overcoming Obstacles & Challenges
to Re-establishing Custody & Access

Dealing with false allegations of sexual abuse and re-establishing custody and access are indeed challenges. However, when a case is managed strategically, positive results can be achieved. By developing a tailored investigative and strategic plan that is based on the individual and unique features of a case, the accusing parent's motivation, dysfunctional conduct and manipulation of the child can be readily exposed. A detailed and precise review of the events, documents and reports often provide ample evidence that the sexual abuse did not occur. In cases where it can be demonstrated that the accusing parent was deliberate and maliscious in their actions as opposed to just over-reacting to something their child might have said, custody often goes to the "accused" parent. More importantly, in these cases, access for the "accusing" parent is typically restricted to being supervised because of the risk they pose to the children.



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Dr. Reena Sommer & Associates P.L.L.C.
League City, Texas 77573
281.534.3923